Daughters Going to College
By: Kerry Rork
I remember the day my mom realized that I would be really leaving for college, not just driving 4 miles down the road to my local high school. I would be making the 6 hour, 2,500 mile journey across the country to a new state, new university, new everything. I was her only daughter, and frankly, she was overwhelmed.
My mom would write down everything, planning our trip to North Carolina down to the smallest detail to make sure we would be as prepared as possible. Lists on lists, long to-dos stuck up on the fridge - she wanted everything to run smoothly. I would be peppered with questions about what toiletries I might need, how many towels I should have littered around my dorm room, whether I needed a bedroom fan or not.
The night before I left, we all watched Toy Story 3, and my mom balled when she saw Andy going off to college, leaving behind his childhood best friends for a new, unknown world. It just seemed like too much change for her to handle.
My advice? Each parent’s experience will be entirely unique. Remember that your daughter is likely as anxious as you are - whether or not they may show it. Their childhood is coming to a close.
Think about ways you can stay connected without hovering over your daughter’s every move. Perhaps, some of your friends have recommended apps like Life360 or Find My Friends to keep an eye on your children while they’re away. Give your daughter the space and trust to grow. Especially if she is leaving to go across the country, watching her walk around the city will only cause unnecessary worry - especially since she is probably just heading to the nearest grocery store.
Before they leave, be sure to have conversations about sexual health, safety at parties, losing friendships, going to their own doctor appointments, and everything in-between. Write out everything you wish your mom had told you before you left for college from how to find the best birth control to how to effectively budget. Make it a priority to provide that comprehensive pre-college education.
Most importantly, be a support network for your daughter. While your daughter may not need you in the same way she did before, build or maintain a place of trust between you and your daughter. College along with her budding adult life will introduce a slew of new problems that she has not dealt with before. Always remember there are moments when it is better to listen than to parent.
Good luck to all mothers embarking on this new journey with your daughters! While the first few weeks in particular may be particularly difficult, know that it only gets easier.