Why to Both Embrace and Avoid Conformity in College
By: Avery Didden
Arriving at college your first semester of freshman year, it’s only natural to want to fit in. I know I did. You step onto the scene and are bombarded with orientation activities, new surroundings, and a maze of a class schedule. You feel like everyone already knows everyone else. You feel like you have a million things to catch up on.
And just like that, your four years have begun…
The universal start to college feels something like what is described above. Your mind is racing a mile a minute. You feel like everything you do will impact the next four years of your life. Should you ask to have lunch with this person? Where should you sit in class? This experience is only heightened for women, who have been trained most of their lives to feel like they need to fit in in order to thrive. So, naturally, most girls begin to conform.
It usually starts small. You see someone wearing a shirt you like and ask where they got it from. You decide to buy one for yourself. Suddenly, your entire wardrobe seems wrong, like if you wear that old outfit, you’ll never have friends.
It’s easy to understand why we feel this need to conform: We want friends, and we want to fit in.
The more troubling question is: How dangerous is letting this conformity dictate your life? In all honesty, a bit of conformity is a good thing; it keeps people in line and makes them feel like they need to relate to others.
But the danger? The conformity that freshmen, especially female freshmen, feel at the beginning of college leads to a lack of individuality. College is supposed to be the time where you find out who you are. And, making yourself look and act like every other girl you see is not the way to do that.
So like I said, a little conformity is acceptable...good, even. If you want to buy one new shirt, go ahead! But, don’t dictate your classes around your new friends. Make sure you are focused on your own experience first and foremost (selfish, maybe, but necessary).
My take on conformity: like everything, it’s good in moderation. A little conformity can make you listen to people’s stories, understand their lives, and act in a way that makes you feel socially comfortable. But, too much conformity and you start to lose yourself in the identities of others.
Ladies, don’t let that happen. Embrace the parts of yourself that don’t conform, as well as celebrate the ones that do. Frankly, the pieces that make you different will be the things that people find interesting.
Make sure you show them what those pieces are.