Difficult Job Conversations 101: A Female in a Male World
By: Avery Didden
Picture this:
You’re sitting around a table with two of your guy friends. You’re talking about internships for the summer. You all want to work in finance and are talking about the stress of the recruitment process.
“It’s so scary,” one of them says, tapping his hand nervously on the table.
“I know. I’m worried about the interview,” you say as you think about how you’ll respond to the every-dreaded prompt of “So, tell me about yourself.”
“Are you kidding? What do you have to worry about? You’re a girl. They need more of you.”
And with that, they continue talking about what suit they’ll wear or what questions they want to be asked, but you just sit there in stunned, annoyed silence. You feel like you have to defend why you're nervous. You feel like, all of a sudden, you aren’t entitled to your own emotions. But, you can’t think of anything to say.
“They need more of you.” What does that even mean? They can’t need more of me! I’m one person. But, suddenly, you’ve been reduced to a group of people and your individuality has been blotted out like a smudge of ink. And, so what?! Maybe they do want more women. Maybe they do want a different perspective in a field that has been dominated by men for decades. Maybe they want a change; they want a difference. But that doesn’t mean your individuality is gone. That means you need it more than ever.
So...what to do in a situation like this? I mean, you could sit there quietly and listen to them drone on, or you could say something. I always think a quick and easy:
“You have no idea what you’re talking about. I’m just as entitled to be nervous as you are,” usually does the trick. You hop back into the conversation and let them know you aren’t going to disappear (like they hope you will from the applicant pool).
Being a woman makes up a piece of your individuality; it doesn’t make you less of an individual. This is a piece of yourself that you should value, but also, something for which you should never have to apologize.