“Doing It All:” Seeking Family and Workplace Success

By: Kerry Rork

In spite of enduring three waves of feminism, radical legal change, and their unprecedented growth in both higher education and jobs, women still face the question of family or work. Whether that means sacrificing hours to take care of the kids or giving up a career entirely to stay at home, women are told time and time again that doing both is impossible. In fact, 33% of women with successful careers -- including lawyers, doctors, and academics -- are childless. Whereas, when examining similar factors in men, studies found that 75% of men with successful careers have children. What does this mean? 

In Western societies, women are expected to carry the brunt of domestic labor. Even when expansions in the job market and changing attitudes towards femininity allowed for more women to enter the workforce, women are expected to sacrifice their career once they had their first child. Everything from a job promotion to even the possibility of being hired is rooted in whether a woman has children. 

Even when women are able to so-to-speak ‘do it all,’ they face the ridicule and judgment of their peers, who claim that their ability to mother in the traditional sense is inferior. They are perceived to be sacrificing their childrens’ wellbeing for financial success. 

This is not to say that women should not become stay-at-home parents or that parenting is somehow antithesis to the ideals of feminism; rather women should be given the option, without the judgment of their peers, to, as the cliche goes, follow their own path. 

It is also important to note that the idea of a domestic vs. public sphere is a highly racialized and bourgeois notion of womanhood and society. Oftentimes, women in lower classes were not given the option to choose between domestic life and public life. Yet, they still felt the judgment of their neighbors for not abiding gender roles. Additionally, following the abolition of slavery, Black women often had to perform both roles: mother and financial provider. This has built a stronger racialized notion of femininity. 

So what does this mean for women? Should we choose family or work? Well, obviously, in an ideal world, no, women should not have to choose. Women should be granted the equal opportunity to pursue both as their male counterparts. Job promotions and hiring should not be determined based on whether or not you have children. 

It is critical to be aware of the protections that already exist to begin to create an equitable work environment from the Lilly Ledbetter Equal Pay Act of 2009 to paid parental leave. Part of the change comes from education, namely the stereotypes of leaders. They tend to be both white and male. Inclusion in academic spaces naturally transcends to inclusion in the job market. These structural biases need to be rewritten before substantive change can truly occur.

At the end of the day, change will not and cannot happen overnight. Taking these steps can help to ensure that women have options that are not exclusionary.